


Home

by Onthelastpage



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, deans pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2014-12-29
Packaged: 2018-03-04 07:18:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2969303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onthelastpage/pseuds/Onthelastpage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean talks about the most important thing in his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The beginning of the end

**Author's Note:**

  * For [awkwardblogger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkwardblogger/gifts).



My name is Dean Winchester. I'm a hunter. Not the type of hunter that kills animals, although we have hunted werewolves. I hunt demons and other supernatural beings with my little brother, Sam. Or Sammy, I sometimes call him. He hates it, but I've been calling him that ever since he was a baby. And I guess that's what this story is about. Sam. But, then, doesn't it always end up with Sam?

 

See, when I was just three years old, my mom told me I was going to be a big brother. I wasn't exactly what you'd call happy about it, but I was the only child for three years and now some other person was going to come take away my place. Anyone would be jealous. But, my resentment changed when I first saw my brother in the hospital room laying in my moms arms. I was four then and it finally struck me... I'm a big brother. I asked my dad if I could hold him and he smiled and had me sit in a big chair and placed my little brother in my arms. Of course my dad had a hold of him as well, I _was_ just a kid. But I didn't care. I just looked down at my little brother and felt this need to keep him safe. My dad told me his name was Samuel, after my moms dad who died when she was a teenager. I'm named after her mom, Deanna. My dad said I could call Samuel Sam for short, but I didn't like it. He didn't really look like a Sam. He definitely didn't look like a Samuel either. So I shook my head and whispered the name that was the perfect name for a big brother to call his little brother. “Sammy.” My parents seemed to like that name because after that, when we went home, that's what they started calling him. Although, Sam still stuck as well.

 

Going back to our house in Lawrence Kansas, I quickly picked up a routine with my parents. My mom would feed Sam, burp him, get him changed and ready for bed, and then she'd lay him in his crib. My dad would then hold me in his arms and we would all say goodnight. I was always the last one to say goodnight to Sammy, it was nice to think that my voice was the last thing he heard and my face was the last thing he saw before he closed his eyes to the rest of the world. We did the same routine on the night Sam turned six months old.

 

The night that changed our lives forever.

 


	2. Superman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of the end

The day Sammy turned six months, I got upset with my parents. I wanted to go to the lake and swim. I wanted to bring Sam along with me so I could teach him how. I was four, after all. So, in my mind nothing could hurt my little brother as long as I was with him. My mom instantly turned that idea down. She said it was too dangerous, Sammy was too young, we could go when Sam was older. I just figured she didn't want me to spend time with my brother. I honestly thought she wanted Sam for herself. I remember yelling at her, tellling her it wasn't fair that I was told I have to share things with Sam but she wouldn't share him with me. She tried to explain to me why she was telling me no. She told me we could all go to the lake when Sam was my age and we could have a family picnic. But when you're just a kid, four years seems like a lifetime.

 

We never did get to go.

 

That night, when we did our family routine, I wasn't too thrilled about saying goodnight to my brother. It wasn't his fault that we couldn't go. I never blamed him, I was just upset that I wasn't able to show him the water. So instead of my dad lifting me into my arms, I leaned over the crib to say goodnight. Only this time, this time I didn't say what I said every day since the day we brought him home from the hospital. Any other night I would lean over the crib, smile down at my little brother and whisper “Goodnight Sammy.” And then I would watch him as he stared up at me and slowly close his eyes. That night, well, that night was different. Instead of my dad holding me in his arms I stood by Sams crib because I was still upset with my parents and I didn't want them touching me. My mom still did though. She put her hand on my back after Sam was laying safely in his crib and said “Come on. Let's say goodnight to your brother.” I remember looking down at him and all I said was “Night Sam.” Not “Goodnight.” Not even “Sammy.” And then I walked away without watching him close his eyes.

 

To this day I still wonder if what happened that night could have been stopped if I'd only said goodnight to my brother the way that I normally would have.

 

I remember hearing my mother scream. I jumped out of my bed and yanked my door open as hard as a four year old could and ran for Sammy's room. I don't know how I knew, but deep down, I had this feeling that he was in trouble, that someone was trying to hurt my little brother. My dad doesn't know this, and I never did tell him because I knew it would break his heart, but I saw her. I was standing right outside Sams bedroom and I saw my mom on the ceiling with blood right in the middle of her stomach. I remember just staring up at her, terrified. I kept blinking, hoping that maybe the movie I watched before my mom caught me made me have nightmares. But, that movie only had a big sister wanting revenge on her family. I don't remember seeing anyone glued to the ceiling. I must have had my eyes closed tight because the next thing I knew, there was this loud crackling sound and when I opened my eyes again, I was staring at my mother burning on the ceiling. That image never has left my memory. About that time, my dad ran out of the bedroom holding Sam in his arms and when he saw me, he thrust Sam into mine. “Take your brother outside as fast as you can.” I remember even to this day what my dad said. I even remember what we both wore, the look on my dads face, and the horrified expression on my moms. I must have registered the fact that Sam was a baby because when my dad handed him to me, I was terrified I would drop him if I even moved. So I was about to protest, I don't know why. Maybe I was hoping this was all just a dream and I would wake up soon and my mom would be making breakfast. I started saying that I was too young to take Sam downstairs but all I got out was “Daddy-” before my dad yelled back “Now Dean! Go!”

 

And I did, I ran down those stairs as fast I could, clutching Sam to me hard, hoping that I wouldn't drop him. Just hoping that he would be okay until my dad could come and take care of us both. I don't even remember opening the front door. But the next thing I knew, I was standing in my front yard, holding a screaming Sam and trying desperately to find my voice for comfort. To comfort him or myself, I don't know. There was a shattering sound, like glass breaking and the windows in Sams room broke from the fire seeking air. In that split second, I remember accepting the fact that Sammy and I were alone. In that small amount of time, I said goodbye to my parents. But luckily, my dad ran out of the house right after I said goodbye. I remember thinking he looked like Superman with his blue robe flying behind him as he ran.

Only now, he no longer had his Lois Lane.

 

 

So I suppose this is where the story really starts off. This is the beginning of the end.

 


	3. The fight to save humanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summing up the previous hunts. Sort of.

My mothers death is what got Sam and me into hunting demons and things. Most kids grow up learning how to ride a bike, or selling lemonade on the street outside their house. Most kids have sleepovers with friends from school. Sam and I, well, we're not most kids. I was taught how to shoot a gun at the age of six. I made money by playing pool at the age of ten. I never got to have sleepovers with friends from school because I was never at the same school for more than a month. Most parents open the closet door and tell their kids there's no such thing when their kid talks about monsters. My dad gave Sam a shotgun, just in case. My dad was a good man, never hit Sam or me. Sure, he and Sam got into arguments. Some of the time. Most of the time. All the time. But not me, I never once went against my fathers wishes, I was a good little soldier, until I wasn't.

 

Let's fast forward. I'm sure you don't want to hear all about Sam and me as kids. I guess I should have told you that my mom was killed by a demon. That's why my dad taught us how to be hunters. This demon was feeding Sam his blood, and wanted to make Sammy go dark side. It almost worked, but that's not what this story is about. We ended up ganking the demon, Azazel his name was. Well, dad ganked him. His spirit did rather. But that's not what this story is about either.

 

Okay, maybe I should start explaining things better. See, even though we switched schools all the time, Sammy was still a smart kid. He ended up getting a full ride to Stanford. My dad and I, we weren't too thrilled when Sam told us though. It wasn't like we weren't happy for Sam, we were. Or at least I was, I don't know how my dad felt on the matter. I just felt like Sam was abandoning us. Not only that, but if he was going to Stanford alone, with no other hunters around, he was vulnerable. At eighteen Sammy was still just a kid. But he went anyway, even though I begged. Even though my dad screamed. He still went. Wanted to be normal for once he said. And he was normal, went to school to become a lawyer and even got himself a girlfriend that he was about to propose to. His life was pretty normal, that is, until it wasn't.

 

When Sam was twenty two, I came barging back into his life. Dad was on a hunting trip and hadn't come home yet. That wasn't exactly abnormal, but it was abnormal that he still didn't contact me. So, I asked Sammy to help me find him. And we searched, even took on a case of our own in the process. But we didn't find dad. Sammy had to get back to his apartment that he shared with his girlfriend Jess for a job interview the following Monday, so I took him back home and said goodbye. I didn't get far before I heard him scream. That was the second time in my twenty six years of life that I saw a woman glued to the ceiling with blood in the center of her stomach. I knew it was only a matter of minutes before the apartment was going to burst into flames, so I yelled my brothers name and got him the hell out of there. That was the second time I rescued Sam from a burning building.

 

After that, Sam dropped everything and became a hunter full time. I finally had my brother at my side again, but at a horrible cost.

 

We continued searching for our father and taking on cases. And we met some pretty interesting people along the way. We got into contact with an old friend of our fathers, Bobby. After our dad died, Bobby became like a father to us. We even met, if you can believe it, some angels. Uriah was a dick, there's no way around that. He was probably the worst supernatural thing we had ever met. Worse than a demon I might go as far to say. Gabriel was probably one of my favorites, nothing compared to Cas, but then, who could compare to Castiel? Gabriel went into hiding after the whole argument between Lucifer and Michael. That's right. That's real. There really was a fight over humanity and Lucifer really was a jealous dick bag. Gabriel went into hiding because he didn't want to be on any of his brothers sides. See, Michael and his followers believed that humans were just there as entertainment and had to be watched like a child crossing the street. Lucifer on the other hand, he and his followers believed that humans were the worst creation to ever happen. They believed humans should be slaughtered. If you ever read the story of Lucifer and Michael, you'd know that Lucifer was jealous because God created man and wanted the angels to basically consider humans as family. Lucifer considered humans worse than shit at the bottom of his shoe. So he went against his father and got in a huge fight with his older brother Michael. He ended up taking something like two thirds of the angels down to hell with him. But Michael did everything his father wanted him to. He was a good little soldier you might say. Maybe that's why he wanted me as his vessel. Again, that's another story. So, you see, Michael felt like the humans couldn't survive without him. Lucifer wanted nothing more than to kill the humans. And then there's Gabriel.

 

Gabriel loved the humans almost as much as God did. He didn't go into hiding to protect himself from the war, he went into hiding to protect mankind. Gabriel was a dick though. He did pretend to be a trickster there for awhile. But, he wasn't nearly as big as a dick like Uriah. Or Raphael, Michael, Lucifer, and many of the others. He died trying to protect Sammy and me. I was grateful for that. I was grateful for Balthazar too. He's another angel. Castiel killed him when he basically became God. The reason why Cas killed him was because Balthazar gave us directions to where Cas was so we could possibly stop him. But it wasn't really Cas though. Not anymore. Not when he broke down Sams wall and made him remember Hell, not when he almost killed us, not when he killed thousands of innocent people. Oh yeah, Sammy and I went to Hell. I was gone for a year, Sammy was gone for over a year. Oh, and I also went to Purgatory. Which is where these things were from that took over Castiel. Leviathans they were called. Nasty sons of bitches. Most everything we hunted were. But those things, I'd take a demon any day over those assholes.

 


	4. Death and the horsemen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Death's promise.

Did I mention that we met Death as well? We met all of the Four Horsemen in fact. And the Seven Deadly Sins. Yeah, again, this shit is real. The Seven Deadly Sins were just demons, so they were fairly easy to gank. The Horsemen only “died” when Sammy and I chopped off their fingers to get their rings. We got everybody's except Death. Death hand delivered the ring to me. Told me he'd give it to me as long as I put Lucifer back into his cage. And I did, well, Sam did. That's how he went to Hell. Ended up taking our Brother Adam and the Archangel Michael with them. But, again, that's another story.

 

Back on topic here. Death was not a fan of us. We weren't lucky. Well, I suppose we were but not in the sense of almost dying but being saved at the last minute. No, Sam and I, we died. Plenty of times. There was just always something that brought us right back. Castiel brought me and Sam both back from Hell. Now, Death may not have been too fond of us, but he knew we had a purpose. Even told me that himself. He let me know that until there was nothing left for Sam and me, he would let us continue living.

 

And he kept that promise.

 


	5. The end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here we are. You and me. On the last page.

Remember how I told you this story was about Sam? Have you figured out why yet? Sammy isn't just my little brother. He's my best friend, my life, my love, my hero. Sammy is the only thing that keeps me going. If it wasn't for him, I'm sure I would have died a long time ago and begged Death not to let me come back. Sam saved my ass so many times. It's amazing really. I was always the one who believed I needed to protect Sam while he was thinking the same things about me. I'll tell you one thing, we were glad when we heard the astounding news.

 

Something happened that made all the monsters and the demons and everything bad just disappear. Hunters around the world were hanging up their rock salt. Sam and I, we were so thankful we were able to retire. But there was just one more hunt we had to do. Everything disappeared but of course there was one demon who didn't get the message. So, we decided to have one more hunt before we retired. Fucking demons.

 

I'm not going to go into details about what happened, because I'm sure you really don't want to know the gruesomeness of it all. But basically, the demon won. Sammy still killed it, but the damage was done.

 

So here I am, laying here staring at my brother and these flashbacks start happening. They say your life flashes before your eyes, so it makes sense that I only see Sam. I go to reach out for him, our hands barely touching and we both just stare. I don't know what I would do if I watch Sam die first, but I sure as hell know that I would rather that than to make Sammy watch me die again. So as I watch my brother take shaky, shallow breaths, I get this flashback of Sam as a baby. I smile weakly at my little brother, whisper “Goodnight Sammy”, and I watch him close his eyes to the rest of the world. It's nice, knowing that my face and my voice are the last things Sammy sees and hears before he closes his eyes for good. I close my eyes shortly thereafter, I can feel how shallow my breathing is, I can feel my heart rate slow, and I'm home.

 


End file.
